Sarah's 3rd Birthday - a Very Late Post

I can't believe she's three. I keep wishing I could hold back time. I don't want to lose this time with her, my only girl and my last. How happy I am that she's a part of our family.

Sarah's friend party...







Disney Princesses on Ice the night of her birthday...

Friends at the Gale Center on her birthday...


The dollhouse, her main present...


Jungle Jim's with the Bowens (there should be a pic of the Bowens here, but I didn't seem to upload it)






Grandma Bowen and Sarah...





A princess cake...


Curly hair for her celebration...


Cake and Ice Cream with my family...


= one loved little girl. Happy (super-belated) Birthday Sarah!

Donations

Life has been going full tilt for a while now. My blog has been one of the innocent bystanders. Sorry to all two of you who might have been bothered by that!


Moving on...




I was so humbled by the amount of support and concern shown by so many friends, family, and neighbors when we decided to collect donations for my neighbor whose home was damaged in the fire. Jaylynn (next door to me) and I were able to take the combined donations to him on Saturday, Dec. 19th. I took pictures of most of the items and money, but forgot to take one when is was all wrapped up!

Total donated was (estimated) over $650. $425 was cash (much of this was from checks made out to me), $120 in visible gift cards. A handful of sealed cards and lots of food and supplies.

Thank you so, so much to everyone who shared what you had with him. He was so grateful!

Just so you know, the house was not *quite* a complete loss. They are redoing just about everything though. Every piece of sheetrock has been removed. They will run tests on the wood framing to see how much frozen water remains in it. The siding, brick, and roof will all be replaced. It needs new cupboards, granite, subfloor...everything. Rebuild will take approximately 6 months and then he will live there again. He was looking at the bright side when we spoke to him and thinking about all of the improvements he can make. :)

The Fire on My Street - A Call for Donations

If you are not already aware of this, sadly, a house on our street went up in flames last Friday night. Above are a few pictures we took from our house. (Most of the damage is actually on the back of the home.)

The owner, Roger, was devastated and lost so many things. Many people have requested that we take up a collection for him. So...

We will be collecting donations for Roger through Sunday, December 13th.

*If you would like to contribute, please bring any donations to me by this Sunday. Please contact me if you have any questions or if you need more time. There will also be a group card at my house that you can sign if you would like to express sympathy for his loss.

*If you would like to donate some items you think he would need that are new, it might be good to attach a gift receipt it case he wishes to return it.

*You may donate things that you already own that you think he could use.

*We will also be collecting money and/or gift cards to be given directly to him. We may put money towards Target or Lowe's gift cards.

*Checks can be made out to me (and the money will be combined with other donations), or you can write a check directly to Roger and it will be delivered along with the rest of the items.

Losing your home is a terrible thing to have happen at any time, but it is especially heartbreaking at Christmastime. Hopefully we can rally together and help bring Roger some unexpected joy this season! Thank you so much!

(Leave a comment or email me at malisa5@bowensite.com if you need more info, such as where I live, my phone number, Roger's phone number and full name, etc.)

Here's one of the clips that our security cameras picked up. (It will take a minute to load.) I didn't see this part; it's before the fire engines arrive.

Video Clip

A Boring Post

This is an incredibly boring post. It was what was in my head or nothing!



I know I haven't been blogging much. I've still in the middle of a computer transition. I don't have my pictures on the new machine yet.

Sunday was the primary program. It went well and I'm so happy to have it done. The rest of church that followed was incredibly tiring. I think it's going to be a few days before I feel recovered from the two...just in time for the boys to be home from school!

My house feels like a disaster zone as I write this. It's in need of some deep organizing and cleaning again. The kid's school is doing a book drive and I've been sorting through all that we own (too many). It looks as though I will be parting with 150+ books. While it's counts as organizing, right now it's just making things messier.

Sarah has gone from begging everyday for friends to complaining about them. What is up with my daughter? Just as soon as I get things figured out, she mixes it up.

I'm tired today. The old type of tired. I started the morning cheerful, but fatigue set in at precisely 11:00am. I don't like it.



There. Now I feel a little better. Time to go get some stuff done.

I Wish

The gospel of Christ is a gospel of progression. What would be the point if we didn't believe we could ever be better than what we are now?

But I tell you, sometimes I think I'll never improve, never overcome my inadequacies, never truly move forward. I wish I would stop preventing myself from being what I really could be.

I wish I could always show those around me how dear they are to me.

I wish I never let a ball drop.

I wish I was always a patient mom. I have so many good ideas, but rarely carry them out. If I do, I'm not consistent.

I wish my house was always (ever) clean.

I wish my emotions were less rollercoastery.

I wish I was always a thoughtful wife.

I wish I always met people's expectations.

I wish I was always a good friend. Sometimes, I just suck (and my heart aches).

I wish everyone understood me.

I wish I were more humble, more spiritual.

I wish I had a life coach.

I wish I could be happy all the time.

I wish I was more charitable.

I wish I was more grateful for my blessings.

I wish I didn't feel guilt.

I wish I was enough.

I wish I was perfect.



Here's some quotes I came across while cleaning my desk today:

"You can do anything - but not everything."

"My house is clean enough to be healthy and dirty enough to be happy."

"Your net usable faith is what is left after subtracting your doubt and disbelief."


I'm up to my nose in blessings, with only a few trials to balance it out. Is life still hard? You betcha.


P.S. I wish I remember to spell check before I initialalially posted.

I Went Back

It's been nearly 4 years. FOUR years. (Think pre-Sarah.)

I used to go most M/W/F's for 3 years. And then I stopped.

But today I went back to Allison's aerobics class as Gene Fullmer's. In some ways it was as if I'd never left. It was awesome. And hard.

The verdict is still out as to whether I can commit to going regularly, but for today it was good. And hard.

Attitude Changing Grattitude

Never before have I loved all of my children more than I have this week. It feels as though my eyes have been opened to the blessing that they truly are. This is the way I always hope to feel, but often fall short. It it not that they have been angels or that some grand thing has helped me see things differently. It's just a gift from God that I so desperately needed at this time.

Also, my energy has been good from the day I went to the doctor. It seems that this may be the result of a simple prayer.

Perhaps the Lord is aware of me after all.

Multiplication Slap-Jack

I stumbled across this version of "multiplication slap-jack". Sounds fun AND educational. I'd like to think I would rock at it too. I have my times-tables down! Anyone want to challenge me??!?! Bwahahahaha.

http://www.oneshetwoshe.com/2009/10/making-math-fun-she-rachel.html

I am so going to play this with Isaac. He is a surprisingly formidable foe.

Photobucket and My Niece

I'm trying to post pics from photobucket. I can't go the slow way through Blogger ANYMORE! However, these were huge, so now they're just thumbnails. I'll work on that later.

I have plans to take a photography class in the future. I know I have lots to learn. I've been having focusing problems with my camera, but I think I may have figured out why AFTER our little photo shoot. Keep in mind that these pictures have zero editing - they haven't even been cropped. My neice is beautiful, don't you think? (We were on our way to IKEA, so I got to use the same wall that is in our family photos.)

Dance Class

Pin Me Down

If you can come tomorrow night, meet at my house around 6:30. We'll probably just do dinner. Perhaps the Olive Garden.

The Birthday

I'm toying with the idea of canceling my birthday plans. 50% of people have something going on. 25% have random reasons. I feel guilty about the last 25% whom it seems to be inconvenient for but would join me anyway.

I had decided on the corn maze in West Jordan, with dinner at some sort of casual dining place before at 6:30, which I estimated would put us at the corn maze by 7:30ish. Don't know which way to go right now.

What I would really like for my birthday is some nice uplifting comments. I'm in need of some major support right now thank you very much. I'm feeling a bit hacked down by everything.

My Birthday's Coming and Don't You Forget It!

Everyone knows I love my birthday. To celebrate, I'm going to a corn maze and would like everyone (read girl's only) to join me this Friday night. Details will follow. I believe they will include dinner plans too.

Find someone to watch the kids (if you have any) and come play. That means you!

The Effects of Multitasking

Pizza on plastic IKEA plate in toaster oven =

A Picture of Health

Wondering how my doctor's visit went? Can't stand all the suspense? Well, wait no longer...I am the picture of health!

The office visit went well, although I was oddly nervous. After that, I was relying on the blood work to show me what is causing all of this fatigue. The doctor (yes, the actual doctor) called me this afternoon and told me the following:

Iron - in the normal range (37.5 to be exact)
Blood Count - normal
Folic Acid- normal
Vitamin B 12 - normal
Thyroid - perfect
Every other test you would run in a regular blood panel - normal
Blood pressure - normal

So there you have it - no answers. The doctor believes me and said he just keeps thinking he must have missed something. It could be my less-than-adequate sleep, or some form of depression, or that fact that my husband works all the time. I don't know anymore.

The next few weeks I'm going to work on mind over matter and see if this is in my head. One problem is that it comes and goes. I guess we'll see.

P.S. I am grateful to have such a healthy body.

10 Years Ago

10 years ago today, I had my first child.

10 years ago today, my life changed forever.

Happy birthday to a fantastic 10-year-old. We love you so much.

Isaac's teacher, Ms. Brakke (aka - the Origami Lady)

(It seems that I took no pictures today. Hmm. These last two are from his party last Friday, which was, after all, his actual duedate - which so counts.)

Unsettled

(Here's another post of me blubbering on about my unorganized and somewhat discouraged state of mind. I have no expectations that anyone read this. In fact, it might be better if no one did. Anyway, I write stuff down to try to make sense of it all and to feel like I've accomplished something by putting up a blog post.)


I'm over-committed, under-slept, and going crazy in my head. Did you know that if you don't sleep enough, you think a lot differently than you would normally? LITTLE THINGS can bother you to no end.

Did you also know that I can't focus. Did you hear that? I. CAN'T. FOCUS.

I'm spinning my wheels in accomplishing anything. I'm having anxiety about every little thing I have to do this week. Daniel looks at me with sympathy, but not with understanding. He was standing next to me while I was loading the dishwasher tonight when I stopped and said "I don't want to do this!" and then went and cried on the couch. That would be hard to understand, I guess.

The problem is actually not how much I have to do, but ME.

I have SO MUCH GUILT, which is incapacitating, over everything it seems. Anything church related right now is loaded with guilt for me. Mainly guilt of omission. I went to the Relief Society meeting last night, which was good, but it reminded me of my lack of visiting teaching efforts lately. Guilt. I stayed up way too late the last two nights and didn't make it to church on time. Guilt. I was not an awesome primary/nursery person today. I did NOT want to deal with those beautiful (but CRYING) children up in nursery. Guilt. I do NOT feel like praying right now. Guilt. I am feeling under-motivated about church ball. Guilt. The list goes on.

Now I have guilt for complaining about anything church related. I'll make the text littler so that some of you might miss that part. Sigh.

School is also an area of stress/guilt for me. I have more wrap-up to do on the carnival and I don't want to do it. I cannot wait for the two days off of school this weekend.

Other areas of major guilt include: house cleaning/organizing, time spent with children, MEMORY KEEPING (or lack there-of), relationships with friends/family, ...

One of the main things that has been eating away at me this week is the incredible coincidence that two of my very best friends in my life moved this week. They have very different stories that brought them to their respective moves, but they ended up closing on their houses the SAME DAY. This may not seem odd to you unless you really know them/me, but I can honestly say it has shaken me up.

Also, I try to pretend that Daniel's increased working is not that big of a deal. It IS a big deal, but I just have to try to ignore it. There's nothing to be done about it right now. There just isn't.

I don't know how to let go of the guilt. I have so many thoughts in my head that nothing is making sense to me right now. I'm frustrated more than usual. I feel a need for something new in my life. I'm a little jealous about my friends having a new adventure. I live a seriously blessed life. Why exactly do I have these problems?

Oh, I have my doctor's appointment tomorrow. I put off finding someone to watch Sarah. Imagine that.

As a side note, (but really isn't this all a side-note?) I have a lot of great pictures from the recent past. This helps me to feel guilt about not posting/scrapbooking/doing whatever the heck I'm supposed to do with them. So, I'll put two here. Daniel actually took them. That's my girl.

GNO Tomorrow

I just posted about what we're doing tomorrow night for GNO. You might want to read it if you like CHOCOLATE. Come and join us - the more the merrier.

Caffiene. It's a Drug.

My energy has been low the past few days. This morning I dragged. I pulled through and got the main level of the house decently clean for Isaac's party, but after it was all said and done I was TIRED. I thought it would be nice to feel some energy for once so I actually went to the gas station and bought myself a 32 oz Pepsi (as a reward for surviving the day without even raising my voice).

I'm not a big soda drinker. Now, it's 12:30am and I feel like I could stay up much later - as opposed to every other night this week that I've crashed. Caffiene is very effective if you don't consume it very often. Makes you realize just how potent the stuff really is.

I have lots of posts I'd like to do, plenty to catch up on on-line, and fantastic books to read, but I'm going to go force myself to go to sleep or I'll regret it in the morning.


P.S. My doctor's appointment is on Monday. Hopefully there is some type of answer to this stupid fatigue! (I predict that I will be told to take more iron and feed myself with frequent small healthy meals. If only that were easy for me!)

Doing it Justice