Attitude Changing Grattitude

Never before have I loved all of my children more than I have this week. It feels as though my eyes have been opened to the blessing that they truly are. This is the way I always hope to feel, but often fall short. It it not that they have been angels or that some grand thing has helped me see things differently. It's just a gift from God that I so desperately needed at this time.

Also, my energy has been good from the day I went to the doctor. It seems that this may be the result of a simple prayer.

Perhaps the Lord is aware of me after all.

Multiplication Slap-Jack

I stumbled across this version of "multiplication slap-jack". Sounds fun AND educational. I'd like to think I would rock at it too. I have my times-tables down! Anyone want to challenge me??!?! Bwahahahaha.

http://www.oneshetwoshe.com/2009/10/making-math-fun-she-rachel.html

I am so going to play this with Isaac. He is a surprisingly formidable foe.

Photobucket and My Niece

I'm trying to post pics from photobucket. I can't go the slow way through Blogger ANYMORE! However, these were huge, so now they're just thumbnails. I'll work on that later.

I have plans to take a photography class in the future. I know I have lots to learn. I've been having focusing problems with my camera, but I think I may have figured out why AFTER our little photo shoot. Keep in mind that these pictures have zero editing - they haven't even been cropped. My neice is beautiful, don't you think? (We were on our way to IKEA, so I got to use the same wall that is in our family photos.)

Dance Class

Pin Me Down

If you can come tomorrow night, meet at my house around 6:30. We'll probably just do dinner. Perhaps the Olive Garden.

The Birthday

I'm toying with the idea of canceling my birthday plans. 50% of people have something going on. 25% have random reasons. I feel guilty about the last 25% whom it seems to be inconvenient for but would join me anyway.

I had decided on the corn maze in West Jordan, with dinner at some sort of casual dining place before at 6:30, which I estimated would put us at the corn maze by 7:30ish. Don't know which way to go right now.

What I would really like for my birthday is some nice uplifting comments. I'm in need of some major support right now thank you very much. I'm feeling a bit hacked down by everything.

My Birthday's Coming and Don't You Forget It!

Everyone knows I love my birthday. To celebrate, I'm going to a corn maze and would like everyone (read girl's only) to join me this Friday night. Details will follow. I believe they will include dinner plans too.

Find someone to watch the kids (if you have any) and come play. That means you!

The Effects of Multitasking

Pizza on plastic IKEA plate in toaster oven =

A Picture of Health

Wondering how my doctor's visit went? Can't stand all the suspense? Well, wait no longer...I am the picture of health!

The office visit went well, although I was oddly nervous. After that, I was relying on the blood work to show me what is causing all of this fatigue. The doctor (yes, the actual doctor) called me this afternoon and told me the following:

Iron - in the normal range (37.5 to be exact)
Blood Count - normal
Folic Acid- normal
Vitamin B 12 - normal
Thyroid - perfect
Every other test you would run in a regular blood panel - normal
Blood pressure - normal

So there you have it - no answers. The doctor believes me and said he just keeps thinking he must have missed something. It could be my less-than-adequate sleep, or some form of depression, or that fact that my husband works all the time. I don't know anymore.

The next few weeks I'm going to work on mind over matter and see if this is in my head. One problem is that it comes and goes. I guess we'll see.

P.S. I am grateful to have such a healthy body.

10 Years Ago

10 years ago today, I had my first child.

10 years ago today, my life changed forever.

Happy birthday to a fantastic 10-year-old. We love you so much.

Isaac's teacher, Ms. Brakke (aka - the Origami Lady)

(It seems that I took no pictures today. Hmm. These last two are from his party last Friday, which was, after all, his actual duedate - which so counts.)

Unsettled

(Here's another post of me blubbering on about my unorganized and somewhat discouraged state of mind. I have no expectations that anyone read this. In fact, it might be better if no one did. Anyway, I write stuff down to try to make sense of it all and to feel like I've accomplished something by putting up a blog post.)


I'm over-committed, under-slept, and going crazy in my head. Did you know that if you don't sleep enough, you think a lot differently than you would normally? LITTLE THINGS can bother you to no end.

Did you also know that I can't focus. Did you hear that? I. CAN'T. FOCUS.

I'm spinning my wheels in accomplishing anything. I'm having anxiety about every little thing I have to do this week. Daniel looks at me with sympathy, but not with understanding. He was standing next to me while I was loading the dishwasher tonight when I stopped and said "I don't want to do this!" and then went and cried on the couch. That would be hard to understand, I guess.

The problem is actually not how much I have to do, but ME.

I have SO MUCH GUILT, which is incapacitating, over everything it seems. Anything church related right now is loaded with guilt for me. Mainly guilt of omission. I went to the Relief Society meeting last night, which was good, but it reminded me of my lack of visiting teaching efforts lately. Guilt. I stayed up way too late the last two nights and didn't make it to church on time. Guilt. I was not an awesome primary/nursery person today. I did NOT want to deal with those beautiful (but CRYING) children up in nursery. Guilt. I do NOT feel like praying right now. Guilt. I am feeling under-motivated about church ball. Guilt. The list goes on.

Now I have guilt for complaining about anything church related. I'll make the text littler so that some of you might miss that part. Sigh.

School is also an area of stress/guilt for me. I have more wrap-up to do on the carnival and I don't want to do it. I cannot wait for the two days off of school this weekend.

Other areas of major guilt include: house cleaning/organizing, time spent with children, MEMORY KEEPING (or lack there-of), relationships with friends/family, ...

One of the main things that has been eating away at me this week is the incredible coincidence that two of my very best friends in my life moved this week. They have very different stories that brought them to their respective moves, but they ended up closing on their houses the SAME DAY. This may not seem odd to you unless you really know them/me, but I can honestly say it has shaken me up.

Also, I try to pretend that Daniel's increased working is not that big of a deal. It IS a big deal, but I just have to try to ignore it. There's nothing to be done about it right now. There just isn't.

I don't know how to let go of the guilt. I have so many thoughts in my head that nothing is making sense to me right now. I'm frustrated more than usual. I feel a need for something new in my life. I'm a little jealous about my friends having a new adventure. I live a seriously blessed life. Why exactly do I have these problems?

Oh, I have my doctor's appointment tomorrow. I put off finding someone to watch Sarah. Imagine that.

As a side note, (but really isn't this all a side-note?) I have a lot of great pictures from the recent past. This helps me to feel guilt about not posting/scrapbooking/doing whatever the heck I'm supposed to do with them. So, I'll put two here. Daniel actually took them. That's my girl.

GNO Tomorrow

I just posted about what we're doing tomorrow night for GNO. You might want to read it if you like CHOCOLATE. Come and join us - the more the merrier.

Caffiene. It's a Drug.

My energy has been low the past few days. This morning I dragged. I pulled through and got the main level of the house decently clean for Isaac's party, but after it was all said and done I was TIRED. I thought it would be nice to feel some energy for once so I actually went to the gas station and bought myself a 32 oz Pepsi (as a reward for surviving the day without even raising my voice).

I'm not a big soda drinker. Now, it's 12:30am and I feel like I could stay up much later - as opposed to every other night this week that I've crashed. Caffiene is very effective if you don't consume it very often. Makes you realize just how potent the stuff really is.

I have lots of posts I'd like to do, plenty to catch up on on-line, and fantastic books to read, but I'm going to go force myself to go to sleep or I'll regret it in the morning.


P.S. My doctor's appointment is on Monday. Hopefully there is some type of answer to this stupid fatigue! (I predict that I will be told to take more iron and feed myself with frequent small healthy meals. If only that were easy for me!)

Doing it Justice

What Should Weed Do?

I don't mind weeding too much if the weather is nice and there's not to much to do. My kids, however, HATE it. You would think it was pure torture if you heard them moan and groan about it. I usually only make them weed the playground area, since it is their area and the weeds pull out nice and easy. No big deal, right? They have said they'd rather not have to weed than have a playground!!

We haven't been out much this past month and this is what it looks like.

Do you notice how they are all against the fence? Yep. One of our backyard neighbors doesn't have grass - just weeds, for their backyard. There is no stopping the vengeance of those weeds. The weeds in our yard stop right where their fence line stops.

A few years ago the house was vacant, though owned by the same people. The weeds got so tall that Daniel went in their back yard and hacked/sprayed them. They keep them shorter now, but whenever I pull the weeds in our yard, I think about saying something about it.

Should I?