Glum

So I think I'm....(just a moment while I check a thesaurus and look up a milder version of the word depressed - or at least a less used one)....discouraged, drained, debilitated, sad, weary, melancholy, in the blue funk, and glum. I would like to be cheery, encouraged, excited, and happy. Sure I've had good days, but I've noticed that the general pattern is trending down.

I KNOW there is LOTS to be happy about, but in my twisted way of thinking I'm finding myself focusing on smaller bothersome things rather than the big picture. I'm finding it tricky to navigate all of the relationships in my life, both old and new. I'm having lots of days left up to my discretion which opens the door for my ineffectiveness and lack of motivation.

I know that I am still mourning the loss of my old life and home. It's so hard for me to go back there and see the house that the new owner is making changes to or to talk to people that still run in those circles. I've considered that there may be some things that would be easier about moving far away and not having the chance to go back. I did need to go into the old school this week to get my hands on a report card that hadn't made it to me. But after? I sat in the car and cried. That is something that's hard for me to leave.

I know there is joy ahead of us here and I would make the same decision again. I'm excited about so many things and I have met loads of wonderful people, but transition is hard.
I imagine it will just take time.