Thursday, January 29, 2009

The Facebook Tag

I posted this on facebook, but I thought I'd put it here too. Why not have EVERYONE know lots of random things about me? Sounds like fun...

25 (or so) random things about me:

1. I wish there were more ways to use math in everyday life. I don’t want to admit that it’s starting to fade.
2. I’ve never actually had anything go on my driver’s license record, though I did get a ticket once.
3. As I get older, I don’t fear the dentist or doctor as much as I did when I was young. I envy my kids that get to go to the dentist with the TV in the ceiling.
4. Sometimes I can’t fall asleep just because I can’t turn off my head.
5. I like music, but I like quiet better. I cannot focus well when music is playing, so I turn off most blogs’ music - I figure why use my multitasking energy on it.
6. Music is playing from someone’s blog while I’m writing this…
7. I like people who think a lot.
8. I bit my nails until I got married and my husband gagged every time he saw me do it. Very effective. (It could happen to you Kait!)
9. I like puzzles, but I can’t bring myself to do them anymore because I feel like I always have to be productive with my time.
10. I don’t watch much TV or many movies (see #10). I’m not good at trivia.
11. I belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and currently serve in the Nursery, which has been known to test my patience.
12. I talk to my kids about multiplication tables JUST FOR FUN.
13. I am not a thrill seeker.
14. I’ve never been out of the U.S. even though I’ve been to San Diego and lived in Seattle.
15. I don’t have a passion for food, but I’ve recently turned over a new leaf and am discovering the art of cooking.
16. I am very lonely when I have babies.
17. I think I am done having babies.
18. I might want to be a professional organizer/motivational speaker when I enter the workforce again.
19. I vacillate between wishing my childhood were more idyllic and realizing that I have nothing to complain about.
20. I married a very, very good, unselfish man.
21. I want to take a photography class.
22. I think it’s sad that our kids have to inherit some of our bad qualities along with the good.
23. I want to start running, even though I don’t like to run.
24. I don’t like to do things that take a lot of preparation. I’m not the best time manager.
25. I enjoy having the freedom to be spontaneous.
26. I have a really poor memory. I know some of my facebook friends from the names, but I have a hard time recalling much about them. How embarrassing.
27. Having a poor memory makes it much harder to hold a grudge.
28. I could easily write a list of 100 things about me, but I’ll stop now.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Insecurities

I'm not really sure about putting this post up. I guess it's just one of those things that I might do and then later wish I wasn't so blastedly transparent.

Oh well.


After getting together with other people, I tend to think over everything that happened a bit. I have been known to say many a stupid thing in my time and I usually don't walk away from a gathering without saying at least one dumb thing.

Yesterday, I was around a lot of people. I had a pretty good time, but then I had to go and THINK about it too much. I usually like most people, but I always wonder what people thought of me (especially those that met me for the first time or that are just getting to know me). Was I polite? Did I talk too much? Was I genuinely interested in them? Did I come off too confident or seem false? Did I talk to everyone I should have? Did I act like myself? Was I too bossy (as in one situation last night)? At one point or another, most of these questions and many more go through my head. Is that vain?

Sometimes, when I think the answers to these questions are not great, I just think it might be easier to not interact or get to know people much at all. It's seems better if people just don't know me that well, because then they won't know how imperfect I really am. I know that the glossy look from the outside is just that - the view from the outside.

A while back, I told someone that if I walked into a room of people I didn't know I would automatically think that they didn't like me. Isn't that sad? I know it's not rational, but that's sometimes how it is.

One thing I know I thrive on is verbal feedback. I can't stand the guessing game of what someone else it thinking. Because of this, I have been trying more and more to tell people a lot of the good things that I think - how amazing I think they are, how nice they are, how talented. Stuff like that.

I worry about people holding grudges (that I'm usually oblivious to). I KNOW I have a lot of faults. I wish I didn't. I CAN'T STAND when someone else is bothered by me.

One of my dear friends has told me that she thinks she really came into her own in her 30s. She finally wasn't worried so much about what others thought. I tend to go in phases and do seem a little better now simply because I'm so much more busy - but if age really is the answer for me than I still have 9 years to go until I'm out of my thirties and I finally arrive at self-acceptance.

I know that some people deal with similarish stuff. (My own baggage takes on many forms.) I also know that some people don't. What would it be like to be a truly confident person? I don't know. (Actually, there are some things I am confident about, but obviously not enough of them.)

But if you are confident, does that mean that you don't need to worry what others think at all?

I. don't. know.


P.S. No, I am not wallowing in self-misery or looking for much feedback. It's stuff I think about and I'm trying to overcome. I'm just keeping it real. That's all. Really.

P.P.S. This blogging world just makes life more complicated - good and bad. I say things - put them out there - and then... It's weird. However, since it is MY blog, I don't worry quite as much as in real life. I hope people just don't read it if they don't want to.

P.P.P.S. You know one of the reasons why I usually don't post about what I did or with whom? I don't want anyone to feel bad. I know too well what it feels like to be an outsider.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Relishing Life

Lately, I have come across a lot of sad, sad stories of things that people have to go through. I feel so much grief for them and it makes me want to appreciate what I have more, but sometimes it's hard to value what you have when it's right in front of you. The latest post on the Jackson Family blog really shook me though. It is a good reminder. Also, I just found an old friend from high school on facebook who is dealing with trials of her own. She has a great quote by Dallin H. Oaks about adversity on her blog:


“Adversity will be a constant or occasional companion for each of us throughout our lives. We cannot avoid it. The only question is how we will react to it. Will our adversities be stumbling blocks or stepping stones? Our responses will inevitably shape our souls and ultimately determine our status in eternity. Because opposition is divinely decreed for the purpose of helping us to grow, we have the assurance of God that in the long view of eternity it will not be allowed to overcome us if we persevere in faith. We will prevail. Like mortal life of which they are a part, adversities are temporary. What is permanent is what we become by the way we react to them.”


Sometimes it would be nice to not have so much of the adversity and I believe that some people get more than their fair share. However, adversity doesn't negate the fact that there is much joy to be had.


Last night, as I checked on the kids before I went to bed, I couldn't help but think about how much I love them. They are sweet and dear and darling children. I often dwell too much on what isn't perfect and forget to savor what is. So...I want to tell you a little about my children and take a moment to relish what is so wonderful about them.



Isaac




Isaac has always been a dear boy. He is kind and thoughtful and very sensitive. He is a great friend and forgives easily. He is willing to help and is always trying to be good. He works hard. He does his homework by himself and mostly practices the piano without complaining. He has big plans for his future. He wants to be an inventor and live in Hawaii with his friends. He likes cool cars. He likes to draw mazes on occasion. He's smart and tall. He loves his red-hair because it makes him special. He's already developing a strong sense of his own fashion.


Today, Isaac told me he got a new teacher at school. I asked if she was nice. He said "Yeah. I really hope she likes Math." :)



Adam






My dear Adam. I don't know what my life would be like without him. He can be the sweetest boy you've ever met. He is SO creative. He sees things in ways I don't. He imagines up all sorts of worlds and objects. He can play forever. When he plays, he sees things in maps (for lack of a better description). He'll sometimes explain something to you by drawing it in the air. He has a soft and gentle heart. He has a desire to please and wants to be good. He is cute. He is showing a surprisingly quick mathematical mind for his age. He is a very picky eater, but is usually willing to eat at least a little of whatever there is. He is workable.





Sarah







Sarah is a joy. She is spirited and energetic and fun. She is simply darling. She is funny at just the right times. She loves to jump and dance and will adore you if you do it with her. She has good spatial awareness and rarely trips or get hurt. She has her Dad's blue eyes. She loves her friends and other people in general. She gets excited about things. She loves to go places. She loves dresses. She loves to change from one dress to another many times a day. She is learning to love her hair being done. She can say lots of things and is constantly getting more understandable. She is bright and intelligent. She bites her nails, but only to fall asleep.

I love my kids. I really do. I am going to take more time to SAVOR.

Friday, January 16, 2009

So Stinkin' Cute




I know this is a lot of pictures, but... I love doing her hair just as much as I thought I would. When she got up from her nap today, the first thing she asked for was her bow. Hooray.
I'm not sure why I care so much about this (knowing that I don't always get ready myself). I guess I've just always thought that little girls with their hair done are darling. Also, I know how to brighten up these photos, but I don't want to take the time.






The fridge? Let's just say, she knows how to get what she wants.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Classic on Friday


If you have missed out on seeing me skate - here's your chance!
My boys have this Friday off of school. We've decided to go to Classic as soon as it opens at 10:00am and eat lunch there. We'd love all of our friends to come!


They have a Mom's Club deal (that I even called on to check if it would be good on Friday) for $7.50 per person for unlimited skating, bouncing, and jungle. There is also a $5.00 option.




Please join us!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Tying Up Some Loose Ends

There are a few things that I have left hanging on my blog that I need to address. Here's one:

After felling sorry for myself, we actually ended up doing something on New Year's Eve. We went to FIRST NIGHT! It turned out to be really fun. I think we'll go again. It was very reasonable since you only have to pay for the adults and it includes TRAX.




Sarah LOVED the train.


We went to the Gateway and saw the lights at Temple Square...



..and we went ICE SKATING at the Galivan Center.



All-in-all a very fun night. We got home at 10:30pm. However, it didn't fill my need for playing games with friends. Hopefully soon I'll be hosting a game night!

Successful Mothering Convention

I'm going.

My friend Regan started this convention years ago. I have gone most times and really enjoyed it. This year I don't want to go by myself though, so I'm soliciting friends.

It's January 24th from 10am - 6pm or so at the South Towne Expo Center. Admission is $25 at the door, or $15 in advance (pre-pay online), or $10 if you go here . (Use promo code UM1.)


Please say you want to go with me. They have lots of great classes that you can check out here.

The more the merrier.

P.S. Online tickets are available until Jan, 21st at 1:00pm.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Finding Balance

I have a book that I have wanted to read all day (more on which one later). I kept telling myself that when I got the house clean, I could sit down and read. The problem is that I could clean FOREVER. Even just maintenance is all consuming - breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, clothes, toys, spills. Needless to say, I haven't read any of my book yet today and it's almost 10:00pm.

I'm just not sure how to divide my time properly. I feel so guilty when I spend too much unproductive time (when I have the energy and "should" be doing something else). Most of the time, I feel like I am carrying a heavy backpack around of all the things I need to do.

I think that our society focuses way to much on "me" and how to fufill our own needs and wants and not enough on others or the task at hand. In the olden days (that's how I think of it - like me living on a farm in the 1800's), there was a LOT more work and a lot less play. Don't get me wrong, I believe everyone should have breaks and fun times, but when I hear about people just WASTING time or claiming all the things they DESERVE to do it drives me batty. (BTW, I am not saying that reading is wasting time, or any other activity you enjoy.) I do also think that people can work too much.

I guess it just comes down to everything in moderation. Balance. I'd love to say I've found it, but I haven't. Hmm... I think that might just be my New Year's Resolution...



Balance
and enjoying everything more, and being an overall better person.
Simple enough, right?

All In A Day's Fun


One of the few good things about having a sloped front yard is that is makes a good (albeit short) sledding hill.








Sarah couldn't resist her true love.