Panic Attack and Procrastination

This happens to me once in a while. Today was one of them. I had just gotten home much later than I had planned from a church activity to find that my not-to-well-thought-out plans for the day weren't going to work. The boys were on the front porch with Legos all over and Sarah was still awake at nearly 3:00pm. (This was not Daniel's fault; It was my lack of communication and forgetting to take my cell phone with me.) I felt like I had messed everything up by not having a better plan.

I have lots of dreams about not being ready for things. I often dream it's opening night of a play and I don't have my lines memorized or something is due and I don't have it quite together. I KNOW why I have these dreams. I AM A PROCRASTINATOR. I remember being particularily bad in high school with my homework. I'd often do homework due that day in the class before the one I had to turn it in to.

Truthfully, I have gotten much better the past few years, but it is still an issue. Even if I have time and I know it would be easier to do something early, I don't do it. Why not wait until the event is closer? Then I can see the benefits of my hard work sooner. Take Isaac's upcoming birthday party for example. It's planned for this next Friday. Invitations - nope, Treat bags - nope, Plan - nope. I just have a few ideas jotted down and a general idea of what I'm doing. I'm sure I will be up late making the invites and then I'll whip out a party on the fly. It's just how I work.

I secretly think I kind of like the adrenaline of having to do something quick and efficiently. It's kind of a "look at me, I just whipped this together - no big deal" type of feeling. It might not be the best way to go about it, but it does have some excitement in it, right? I think the main reason I've been better at all is because of the good examples of organized women around me and that I really, really, really don't want to let my kids down by more poor planning. That's why today was so sad. I was planning a surprise visit to my parents in Brigham City and I knew the kids would be excited and my parents would be happy, but could I pull it off? No - I just didn't have my ducks in a row.

So instead of going on a fun visit? I panicked and cried and cried. That's what you get when you just don't spend enough time in the planning. Sigh.

P.S. The church activity - it was good. Look at what I made! (A regular bag and a soon to be "I Spy" or Seek and Find bag.)

(P.P.S. I'm having a hard time with picture placement.)