Who Are You?

I have been trying to think up some grand post to explain why I took my blog private (very private, only I could see it) for a little while. I can't think of one. I simply felt like not being public for a little while.



I have been made increasingly aware of how many people read my blog from time to time. Church people, childhood people, facebook people, family, extended relatives, next door neighbors, old boyfriends, my husband, online people, best friends, acquaintances, kid's school people, college people, and people I don't know at all. I can name at least one person in each of those catergories. That's a wide audience. It freaks me out a little. (FYI, I don't tailor my words for any of these particular groups, so please don't let anything bother you.)



So, here's what I'm asking...



I don't really care if you comment much, but what I want is to at least KNOW you read my blog. If you are reading this, I ask you to do one of two things.



1. Comment on this post.



and/or



2. Follow my blog.



1. Commenting is not hard. I will open annonymous comments back up for a short time to make it even easier. You can comment annonymously if you don't have a Google account (which you should get anyway), but just make sure you put you name in your comment so I know it's you. That's it.

2. You can easily follow a blog by clicking on "Follow Blog" at the top or go over to the right where I put my followers and do the same. It helps with Google reader anyway. Just do it.

That's all for now. Can't wait to see who you are.

Gotta Shake This Feeling

Dinner is done. The house is fairly clean (at this exact moment - it probably won't be for long). Daniel's staying at work tonight. (Daniel doesn't want people to think that he does nothing but work. He does spend most of Saturdays and Sundays with us, BTW.)

I'm thinking about school starting. I'm finally done with summer this week. We still haven't had many friends to play or done some other things we (I) had planned, but it's time for the kids to go back. Having 3 kids doesn't sound like much until you have them with you ALL day ALL the time. I'm tired.

The house (as I mentioned earlier) has a very hard time staying picked up. Adam has always loved to play with little things and leaves them ALL OVER THE HOUSE, not to mention his socks. I fell asleep on the couch in the afternoon today and woke up to 5 or so varying decks of cards spread out in a 'maze'. Sigh.

The school carnival is only a month away. We have a meeting on Wednesday. I really hope it all goes well and I don't drop the ball somewhere.

The Raingutter Regatta (like the Pinewood Derby, but boats) for Isaac's scouts is coming up. I have the kit, but I just can't wrap my head around having to help him make his boat. The car last year took a long time. BTW, Isaac did just recently earn his Bear. Hooray!

My good friend and neighbor is moving and I have mixed feelings about it. I'm excited for her, but sad about having them leave....and a little jealous. Sometimes I would like to try a new start and move into a lovely new home. (Yes, I do love this house and would be sad about that too.) But secretly, I think I'd enjoy packing up my stuff and unpacking it. (I may be wrong about this; people say it's not fun.) It would just be nice to take a look at what I actually own and determine if it's really worth having.

I had a few minutes of quiet there. It ended abruptly.

$2 Tuesday Insanity

On Tuesday, Lynea and I thought we would brave Thanksgiving Point for their $2 deal. I already knew that it would be crazy (since everyone I talked to seemed to be going), but I didn't realize HOW crazy. The lines for the Dinosaur Museum and Farm country were SOOOOO long.

The gardens turned out to be very doable and it was a beautiful day. I don't recall going at this time in the summer before. It was so pretty...and it only took us 15-20 min to get back onto the freeway!

A Time To Help

A great family in my ward is in need of help. They are holding a fundraiser this Friday. Here's some info I got from a relative's wesbsite:

Doug Burton, 35, father of Anya and Isaac is in desperate need of a kidney and pancreas transplant. Struggling with juvenile diabetes since his youth, Doug is now on dialysis. Please join us in helping Doug be restored back to health with this vital surgery. Doug has worked for years in the family business, Burton Auto, helping his dad and grandad in their West Jordan shop. A few years ago he was able to get a job, in the printing department of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The health insurance from this blessed job, will pay most of the bills. Now unable to work, we ask that you please lend a hand in helping us raise his portion of the surgical costs. Friday, August 14, 2009, come join the festivities at Pioneer Hall 1137 West 7800 South in West Jordan, Utah, with an all day boutique and silent auction.

Prince & Princess Party 2-4pm for children, which includes meeting a favorite princess, fairy godmother, games & royal treats. $5

Western Party with the Deloy Allred Country Band is $20 per couple, 7-9pm which includes program, dancing & goodies. Purchase tickets for either event at either Burton Automotive (7709 S Redwood Road), or Macey's Grocery (7589 S 3200 W) in West Jordan.

If you are unable to make it to either event, but want to help out; donations can be made to any Mountain America Credit Union.

I really hope this is successful for them. They are good people with good hearts that have already had enough heartache. Please consider attending or donating.

So Few Layers

I just started another blog for any of my friends that might be interested in doing some Girl's Night Outs. Consider yourself invited:

http://r3women.blogspot.com/

Bump on a Wheel

Sometimes in my happy little life I forget something about myself. Little things can eat me up. (Let alone the big things.)

I remember hearing an analogy (quite a few times for some strange reason) when I was younger about how men are compartmentalizers - they divide their thoughts/emotions/lives into little compartments and can put something in one and not worry about it until they visit it again. But women are like a big wheel that keeps turning. (Cannot remember the general term they used for it.) They put stuff on the edge of their wheel and as their wheel rolls along, they keep going over the same bump, over and over -- having a difficult time "putting things away".

This analogy used to bother me a little. I like the idea of compartment living (plus I love 'compartments' and organizing) and thought I was bigger than the 'bump on a wheel' theory.

I am not. I am SO not.

Give me a little piece of something and I'll stick it on my wheel and roll over it till I beat it to death. Okay, that's a little bit of an exaggeration - I just keep rolling over it until I forget about it. My poor memory is what makes it so easy to move on (of course, AFTER I forget) - probably the only reason I like forgeting things. :)



P.S. For those of you not on facebook, here's my latest status update:
After using non-acetone remover, WINDEX, and lots of elbow grease the pink fingernail polish Sarah spilled on my white carpet stairs is nearly gone...but my house smells strongly of chemicals...and Scentsy.

Summer Too Short

The beginning of school is coming with a vengance. 2 1/2 weeks. I'm not ready.

(I think it may be worse this year because of my agreeing to be in charge of the school carnival in September. Um yeah, maybe it has something to do with that.)

I'm not ready for the heavy mantel of responsibility that comes with having kids in school. I'm not ready for them to have so much less time to accomplish so much more.

I don't mind having my kids home too much. I actually like it most of the time. (Except for right now when I keep getting interupted even when Sarah's asleep.) It's been a good busy summer, even though we haven't really played with friends much yet.

But mostly, I think I've made driving to school seem like a bigger deal than it probably is. No one else seems to hate it as much as me. (I think Sarah's naps play into this. I HATE HATE HATE to wake a sleeping child.) I also don't like to drive much. Perhaps it has to do some with my intense motion sickness or the fact that I don't see lots of car time as a great way to spend my/our day. It seems that we drive everywhere, all the time.

We (Daniel and I) just decided not to offer playing fall soccer to the boys because there's already too much on our calendar. Plus, the idea of shuttling both of them back and forth to practices and games (in addition to school, piano, scouts...) makes me sick to my stomach.

Bigger deal than it needs to be, right?

Because I Need to Spout Random Stuff to Make Myself Feel Better

I haven't been blogging as much because I've been made increasingly aware of how many people could potentially/do read the stupid stuff I put here. Today I felt the first flames of desire to take my blog private and not allow ANYONE to read it, so I could just vent and not have to worry about the ramifications. Um, I guess that's what a journal's for.

Anyhow, I have nothing to say, because I can't say it here really. So there.

But I wonder sometimes why things happen the way they do? Why do we have to learn patience? Why can friendships be so hard? Why can't things stay the same? Why can't things change and we (I) can have a little excitment? Why?

Joy is in the journey. Joy is in the journey. No Malisa, you would not be happier if...

Gonna go have myself a good cry.

P.S. Daniel works a lot.

Keeping Up

In all of my cleaning I discovered many things that Sarah had done. I'm too tired to provide an explantion. (I secretly wonder if the picture may have been chopped up by one of the boys. Hmmm. Nope, probably Sarah.)

As Clean As It Gets

Lynea and kids came today. My basement was unliveable just two days ago. I have cleaned and cleaned and cleaned. I actually vacuumed all of the carpet in the house today. (Usually I do one floor at a time.) So proud of myself. In fact, I was so proud that I had to run around and take some pictures...

A poor picture of the basement - but it's now so functional and the kids play down there a lot!

Another view.





The new (used to be craft) toy closet.

The guest room with my never finished painting. I actually kind of like that it leaves it open to your imagination. I have my 'craft' stuff in here now and draping it all was the only way I could think of to disguise it (mostly from Lynea's two-year-old). :)

My office area. I'm finally posting a real picture of my bookcase. LOOOOVVVVE IT.

See all the pictures above my desk. New idea. I like it so far, but I'm not done yet.

I need to look at the settings on my camera. I have a bright lovely house. Anyways, this is the master in it's latest arrangement. One of these days I'll take of picture of the newly framed mirrors and the rest of my projects. One of these days. :)

P.S. Have you noticed that the quality of uploaded pictures on blogger suddenly seems much worse. (Try looking at pictures with faces like the ones in my previous post.) I'm guessing they decided to make the files smaller, but I'm not liking it.

Only a Year Ago...

This photo was from last July. I never seem to remember my kids looking like they did in old photos, but it really hasn't been that long that Sarah has had hair.

This is her right now, hair in her eyes as she prefers. Having a girl with hair is every bit as fun as I dreamed. :)

Utahn, Mormon, Non-Republican

I live in Utah. I am Mormon. I am NOT a Republican.





....or a Democrat for that matter.


The entire idea of a two party system frustrates me. If I agree with some of one party's opinions, but not all, then why in the world would I define myself by it?

I really don't like talk radio. Well, at least some of it, such as far right and left wing political talk. Most of it plays on emotions; the key one being FEAR. Fear of others, fear of others' actions, fear for the future. I am not enjoying so many around me telling me all of the doomsday predictions fed to them by others.

I have a hard time with the "I am right and there is no way you could be right. You will see..." attitude.



Granted things are not good right now, but for heaven's sake, they're not that bad either.

Frozen Dinner Group

I did do something to be proud of today. I successfully made 16 quiche.

My friend Julie invited me last month and now for a second time as a sub in their frozen dinner group. I LOVE quiche and thought I'd give it a go. Yummmmm.... (I hope they taste as good as they look!)

Also, I got ready. Somedays, even if the only place you have to go is to exchange frozen dinners, it just feels good to be clean and pretty.

P.S. Thanks so much for the nice comments on my last post. Today has been great knowing that I'm not alone - and I would love to hang with all of you!

Thinking About Myself

DISCLAIMER: I really am doing fine. I know what it's like to be really down and I'm not, even if this post makes it seem like it. I'm just a little lonely and disappointed in myself - that's all. Trying to title this post helped me to see how very, very inward-focused this is. Maybe it's time I step back on the service bandwagon.

(Photo courtesy of Adam - to which he replied, "I'm good at taking pictures.")

Life is good. Really good. Great everything. But I'm just happy-ish. It seems that I've been short on gratitude lately and higher on blah-ness. Why? I don't know.

What frustrates me more than anything is that I just don't seem to be able to stay 'up'. It just seems that I'm fighting against my nature when I want to be happy and energetic and kind and productive all of the time.

I've also been walking around with heaps of guilt on my shoulders wondering why I can't live up to more of my potential. I KNOW what I am capable of, but I just can't seem to do it.

How much can we really improve our overall temperaments long term? (I can say that I am definitely less emotional now than I was years ago, but there's also not as much drama as say, when I was a teenager.) It just seems so much easier for a born optimist (ahem....Kerri) to see the cheery side of things and relish the good in life. (Let me mention here that I don't think that means their life is easier by any means, just that they have a greater ability to see the positives.) Me? I'm somewhere in the middle of the 'glass-half-full, glass-half-empty' battle. I want to be more cheerful and optimistic though. How do I focus on the positive?

It is obvious that some things come easier for some people than others. Take my kids for example. They are so different! And they've been that way since birth. One is often just plain grumpy, another is overall pleasant but sinks often, and one in more or less happy (and less emotional). These temperament differences affect almost everything in our/their lives. Expectations have to be different for them, but does God see it that way too?

Does He understand that sometimes, for no real reason, I just don't feel happy?

On another note, I'm suffering in the friend department a bit again - need more time with the girls. I've found that the more Daniel works, the more I need to talk to others to fill the void. Part of the problem is that I tend to be spontaneous and then think that no one would be available or want to do anything. I've got to make a bigger effort to keep the wonderful friends I do have (and actually call and do things with them).

Something that really, really frustrates me is when blogger does not preserve your formatting. Where are all of the paragraphs?? Arrrrgggh. Does anyone have this problem/know how to fix it EASILY. I do know how to edit the html, but I just don't want to deal with the problem in the first place - seems to have something, maybe, to do with photos or with enlarging text?!?

Up Too Late

So, I'm back from the Segullah Studio Night, which was AWESOME and of course I'm up late as usual. Daniel is working downstairs and I have the hardest time making myself go to bed.

I thought I'd try to quickly stick one of our new pics up. I did, but it's late and I don't want to fix it right now. We have so many good ones to use. I just have to take the time.

I know I still need to blog about the Wasatch Back also. The Seattle trip threw me off!