Now THIS is babysitting!

I love my nieces. They make for some of the best babysitters there are (WHEN THEY ARE AVAILABLE!!). However, this surprised even me. I came home from a morning of errands to find that Krystine had built THIS with Adam:





A diorama! Adam's ideas, Krystine's execution. Yeah, I was impressed too. Oh, they were eating lunch and the house was clean too. There was no trace of the project.

The picture below is just to say how dear my husband is. He knows I have a hard time remembering to do things I should sometimes, like take vitamins. (Yes, they are all vitamins.) Because of the big race he is trying to help me take good care of myself. He gets them out for me when he remembers. (Don't tell, but they are still sitting on my counter. I'll take them soon, but I have such a hard time taking anything at all. I struggle even using Ibuprofen. I try not to overuse anything that it makes it a little difficult to put anything in my body. I know this sounds crazy to some of you.)

On a random side note, I had never tried an energy anything until this week when I drank half of an energy drink. It was nasty and didn't seem to do much. I'm sure there are others out there that would be better, but I worry so much about what's in them/the effect on your body.

But heaven knows I could use some more energy.

Family Pictures

I finally got up the guts to call Suzanne (on my side bar) and have our family pictures done. I am so happy I did.

Here's a link to some of the best ones. (There are a total of 330 or so.) If you click on one of them, you get to see a few more.

http://suzannereneephotography.blogspot.com/2009/06/b-family.html


I'm so excited to use them on my blog and put them on my walls!

Thanks again Suzanne!


P.S. Isn't the orange couch awesome?!?

Milestones

I've put this post on the back-burner because I really wanted to include pictures from the past. Well, it looks like that's not going to happen, so I'll just type it up.



I have been feeling restless for a while now. I haven't been sure why or even what I want. I think I figured some of it out finally....



Our lives are full of lots of milestones.



In mine own, some of the first ones I remember are finally getting to go to Kindergarten, getting baptized, and moving to Layton.



Then each year of school is an accomplishment.



I remember junior high and young women's.



Oh, and high school, TURNING 16 (one of the biggest days of my life), driving and dating.



And there was high school graduation and working to support myself.



Then college in Logan. I had always planned on college.



THEN I got married and graduated from college.



And I taught junior high math.



Then we moved to Salt Lake and had our first child.



We bought our home.



And we had our second child.



I remember someone asking in Relief Society (at about this point in my life) if anyone's life had gone according to plan. I don't remember if I raised my hand or not, but I do remember thinking that mine had, more or less. I had done everything I'd planned up to that point. In fact, in eigth grade I wrote a autobiography which included my predictions for my future. It is weird how accurate I was.



So anyways, then we started trying to have our third child- which took a bit longer than we hoped, but eventually we got her. (Note - yes, I sometimes have a hard time with the spacing of my children, but everything works out like it's supposed to - right?)



And then....

...






Up to this point in my life I have had a map in my mind. I've had mileposts along the way, marking the passing of time and telling me when I had arrived at the next destination.


The problem is that I'm not sure what the next one is. Where to now? We are not planning on having more children (which might seem to some like the natural progression with Sarah being 2 1/2). So other than the kids just growing up (and reaching their own milestones), I'm not sure what is ahead for me.



I've been itching for a change of some kind and I think that's why.



Now, don't get me wrong (I am knocking on wood as I write this post), I am VERY GRATEFUL for the blessings in my life and do not wish to lose any of them.



I just wonder what God has in store for me.

Have any of you dealt with a stage like this in your life?



Update:
A good point was mentioned in the comments that I had thought about. What about just enjoying watching our kids reach their milestones?

It's true that I find much joy in their accomplishments and plan to do much of my living vicariously through my children. However, I chose a purely selfish perspective for this post. It's a view that has become apparent to me only recently as I've thought about my life beyond the child-bearing years. Simply (and somewhat vainly) stated, what happens now with ME directly?

Sharing a Room

I just checked on the boys in their beds. They were whispering when I approached. Here's their explanation (word for word):


Adam: "Mom, we're just doing some late night math."

Isaac: "Nothing like a good dose of arithmetic."

Me: "You guys are funny."

Isaac: "Okay Adam, what's 2 X 12?"

Adam: "24"

Isaac: "Okay, what's ..."


That's what happens when you have two parents that actually really like math. :)

...

Isaac hit a homerun at baseball tonight.

I painted my master bathroom this week.

I am so tired that I'm having a hard time focusing on anything.

I have a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I have to run the longest run of my life in the morning at 7:00 in Sugarhouse with fast girls.

I feel anxious when I'm tired.

Sarah hasn't gone to sleep yet. It's 10:00 and she's crying in her crib.

If I Could Freeze My Children

You rarely hear me say that I'm sad about my children growing up. Even though I love my babies so very very much, I find things easier when they're just a little older. I like my kids to be more independent too.



However, Isaac is getting OLDER. Older in a way I don't want to think about. Older in a so-many-more-issues sort of way. He'll be 10 in the fall. Yikes.




Being 7 suits Adam well. He's a good boy and I'm guessing he's about as easy as he'll ever be right now.



Even with all of her antics, Sarah is a dear. She is darling and (you're right Eden) charming too. She is funny and energetic and she SINGS! I do like two-year-olds (by themselves though and not with other two-year-olds). Since this is most-likely the last time I will ever have a two-year-old, it makes me a little sad.



So, I guess I've come to realize that I can't really expect it to get much better than this. My kids are at good innocent ages. Still young, but old enough to do a lot for themselves. I am so looking forward to this summer. I am hoping to create lots of wonderful family memories together.



So if I got to pick when to freeze my children in time, it would be now.


Unfortunately that's not going to happen, so I'm going to work on enjoying this time I have with them and making the most of it. Though not perfect, I really was blessed with some good, good kids.

The End of an Era

Sarah climbed out of her crib last night.

One of the boys fell out once, but other than that, no one has been able to conquer our very high-sided crib.

After the accomplishment, I stuck her back in her crib and asked her to climb out so I could see how she did it. The key to her success (and not a fall) was a conveniently placed chair which she used to get down gently. That has been moved and I am praying she does not wish to take a dive. Here's hoping.

BECAUSE at 6:30 this morning I awoke to the front door quietly opening. I watched from upstairs as Sarah let herself out into the front yard while the rest of the family slept. That stinker. (Yes, I will be putting those knob things on. I know this is a safety issue.)

By 7:00 am she had managed to strip down to nothing and go potty on her own, leaving muddy little footprints on the toilet seat along with some other torn apart goodies on the floor from the cupboard.

She's also found that yelling at the top of her lungs when she is mad is a pretty dramatic way to express herself. I had to laugh when she was yelling at the little boy next to her in nursery for taking her seat. I said it'd be fine (meaning she shouldn't hit him) as long as he didn't touch her. Sure enough, he leaned over and poked her. She then decided to pinch the girl on the other side of her for retaliation. What?!?

She ran across the outfield of a little league game tonight and I had to chase her at top speed in my HEELS. SO embarrassing.

My little girl has decided she would like to be the one in charge. I'm pretty tired, so I might just let her be.

Very Quick, I'm So Tired That The Screen is Blurry 10k Post

Yesterday morning at bright and early 7 am I ran a 10k. It was a simple run on the Jordan River Parkway with a lot of the girls from the Wastach Back team. Did I mention it was early?

I did it in about 1 hr, 11 minutes with a mile pace of 11:25. I am the slowest on the team, but I was still proud of myself for running the entire 6.2 miles. It was hard work. I did it.

And that's about all I did for the whole day too.

The SLC 5k - just a tad late.

Most of us.



A few more.

Me, Liz, and Kerri after they finished the half. They are on the Wasatch Back team. Who's the odd one out here? Hm.

The Thing About Me - Updated

I believe in my religion, but I can understand why others don't or wouldn't want to.

I'm neither a Liberal or Conservative. There are almost always two valid sides to an argument. I can see both sides of say - gay rights (and tons of other issues) and honestly can't make up my mind.

This is why I can be such an indecisive person.

When I was a senior in high school, I remember wondering if I had any opinions about anything. I didn't really feel strongly about a lot of things. I don't think I had as many critical decisions to make back then and definitely didn't have as much control of my life.

With more responsibility now, I have many opinions, especially about my family and raising my children. I try though (sometimes I fail) to only project those ideas on my own little family and not others.

I've been a little frustrated with some things about baseball. It's so easy to get worked up. This is where I try to step back and see both sides. The coach and I both have fine ideas, they're just different. And I can live with that. Kudos to him for being willing to coach. Speak of the devil, he called just now. :)

I appreciate everyones input on my last post. I really don't feel THAT passionate about it, even if it sounded so. My latest stance: No, King Kong wasn't a good choice, but other ones could be appropriate. I like the idea of watching a first vision movie among the trees. Good points. I like when others kindly help me see a different point of view.

I guess this is all to say, if you know me well enough, you know I *try* to be as open-minded as possible. I try to look at issues from different angles and attempt to give people the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes I slip into some not-so-great behaviour, but overall I think I've gotten better as I've aged. Ha! Aged!


P.S.
While I'm typing this Sarah is playing with her Barbies and having them dance and saying in a very excited voice, "Hi, I'm Barbie. Hi, I'm pretty. Oh, my dress!" I really do love that girl!

Update: While thinking about my political opinions, I realize that what I really don't like is listening to people who are too strongly one way or the other. I've found that much of their arguments are based on emotion (and creating that emotion in others) and not always logical thinking. I love what Kevin said in the comments about really examining why we support or oppose and idea. Whenever I do that I realize just how limited my experience and knowledge usually are.

Seriously?!? Father's and Son's Campout...

I have to say something about this. The more I think about it, the more it drives me crazy. I do not mean to offend, but can you see where I'm coming from?

The annual Father's and Son's Campout in our ward is in 2 weeks.

They are considering watching a movie...

... on an outdoor screen on their one night there.

A few years ago they watched King Kong. It ended up bothering some people. It IS PG-13. I looked at the parent guide on the imdb to see what the uproar was about. You can have a look for yourself here: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0360717/parentalguide. It was understandably not a good choice especially since there is no restriction on the age of children attending. Some of them are quite young (let alone the fact that it is a church activity).

I don't believe they've watched a movie since, but it's up for discussion again. Can I just say - why is this even being considered?!? Are we so attached to our media that we would be horribly bored for ONE night in the outdoors? I would be better able to understand if it were a multi-night thing and a movie was planned for one of those nights, but this is ONLY ONE NIGHT!

I assume that the purpose of doing this campout is to create memories, strengthen relationships and learn skills. Watching a movie is often a poor choice even for a date when you're getting to know someone. You don't communicate. You are only spending passive time together. What happened to sitting around the campfire, telling folklore stories, playing games, whittling sticks? That would create memories. Who knows, maybe it could even pass off some scout requirements. Imagine that.

It is also about setting an example. It's a time to show your children respect and love for this beautiful world. How can that happen in front of a movie screen? (Well, I guess you could watch Planet Earth.)

Last summer we had a really fun ward movie night in a backyard. It WAS fun to watch a movie outside. It was the right venue. That's what we were there for.

I know that I for one (were I a father), would choose NOT to go if a movie were the activity of choice. Camping takes way too much effort to waste that time in nature on a movie!


Can you see why I would be bothered? Or do you think it's a harmless activity?

Let me know, if you dare.

I Just Don't Feel Like Blogging

I'm feeling a little guiltly for not putting up new posts. I just don't want to right now. I haven't been spending much time on my computer.

I know I have lots of things to talk about including the 5k, spring, funny Sarah things, Isaac's neck injury...



I will write down this short thing that I've told a few of you. It was quite humorous in real life. Maybe you had to be there...

A few nights ago, Sarah woke up about 4:45am crying. I went in to see what was wrong. She stopped crying immediately when she saw me and said in a loud, clear voice "Mom. I want candy." That is what you woke me up for? Um, not right now honey.


I'm going to bed now.

My Love/Hate Relationship

Running.

It's awesome. It's awful.

Ever since I hurt my foot, I've been struggling to enjoy it again. Much of the initial euphoria I felt over being so dang proud of myself has gone.

Last night I decided to just go run - without looking at my Garmin. I ran at the pace I WANTED to run at. Want to know what it was? I'll tell you, but...

As with pretty much everything else it is hard not to compare yourself with others. I have heard so many runners' stories now. I was talking with a friend this week about it and I KNOW she was shocked to hear what my pace was. (You were, weren't you Alanna?)

So guess how fast I was - or should I say slow? It really doesn't matter, does it?

13:00 min miles...that's what my body enjoys right now. It was liberating. I felt great. I could have run longer.

I did some 11:00 min miles on Saturday and hated it.

I am not a natural runner or even a natural athlete of any kind. I never have been; I don't need to be. This is not for anyone else. This is for me.


P.S. I do hope however, that by June I can run those 11:00 min miles without dying. The registration for the Wasatch back doesn't allow you to put a time slower than that without contacting them. Humph.

Very Random and Somewhat Boring

This post really has no purpose. There is no overall theme - nothing that makes for a good title. I just felt like writing random things.



My life is really good overall. I know that I'm not being grateful enough most of the time these days.

I have been ultra discouraged this week. I think it's a combination of a lot of little things. I just haven't been able to fully shake it. (Actually, today has been good. The kids and I weeded the yard for two hours! It felt so good to get something accomplished.)

I am also pretty busy, but once in a while I STILL get pangs of loneliness. It's weird. I have plenty of good friends these days, but really don't do that much with people. I was just reading some others' blogs and wishing I could be invited into their world. Why do I feel like that? I honestly don't think I'll ever totally escape it.

I have to say this. Sometimes running sucks. My foot is doing well, but I still haven't picked up my speed. This week my dentist told me about two of his kids that ran AMAZING times way back when. I know it's an individual thing, but it didn't help me feel very speedy.

As far as not being too grateful goes - you know how you can be totally content and blessed until you realize there is so much more you could have (or at least it seems like it)? I've been dealing with that. I wish it would go away.


I keep forgetting to write some of the darling things Sarah has been saying. I think she is at her cutest ever right now. When Dad came home two days ago, she ran up to him, hugged him and said "Daddy, Daddy, I love you so much!" Now, she has been telling us all that. Her toys will tell each other "I like you so much" and she usually says "Thank you so much, Mommy" when I do something for her. She can say her name correctly now, but usually slips into saying Sasah or Sarsah still. One of my favorites - bandanda. I bought her a new dress at the mall this week that she wanted on immediately. She had it over her other clothes and kept going up to random people, tapping them and saying "My dress, pretty." While at the mall play area (in Layton), she was jumping of the chairs around the sides and saying "Awesome. Cool. This is fun." She is in LOVE with princesses and carries her figurines almost everywhere. Rather than tell you which one she wants, she'll find a picture of them on something and point to the specific princess and ask, "Where it go?" These short phrases make it sound like she isn't talking a lot, but she is. She has had a speach breakthrough and it has been so fun.

That's about all I feel like writing. Good heavens.

A Lesson Was Learned Today

(Disclaimer: I noticed this post I had written a while back (a little after Halloween) and not finished. Since I have had a loss of words lately, I thought I'd put this one up - not finished, but with enough of the story I believe.)

Right after school, I realized that they were giving flu shots in the auditorium. I grabbed the boys and went to get them. I wanted to give the boys something to look forward to, so I said that if they got the shot they could have 10 minutes to eat however much candy they wanted (of their Halloween candy which is HIGHLY monitored.)

Sounds like a good deal, right? Oh, it was.

During the aforementioned 10 minutes I was busy keeping Sarah occupied in the other room. With less than a minute left, a very sad Isaac came in with a full mouth. He said "I wish I hadn't done that." He looked SICK. For the next fifteen minutes he felt ill. He kept saying things like "I'm never going to do that again," and "I don't feel good." I kept thinking (and chuckling to myself), is this really happening? Is what moms always say coming true? I mean really - how often do kids actually get sick from eating too much candy? Not as often as we wish.